The Woman That Feeds Me has been really busy lately, and leaves the computer laying around a lot. I noticed that she hasn’t blogged in about 14 months (remember, human measurements of time x 7 = dog time), so I decided to remedy that. I was going to tell you all about what’s been going on, but there is something much more pressing which needs discussed – an alien life form.
Yes, that’s right. I said an alien life form. No, it’s not a brown, furry, cat eating creature (80’s TV, holla!) It’s much, much scarier.
The People That Feed Me took my Little Human to a party on Saturday. I had a good day, writing my manifesto and licking my bottom. I heard them pull in the driveway and quickly took my spot on the couch, and assumed the sleeping position. The 3 of them walked in, but were followed by a mystical creature. It had a single, long, thin limb – a leg, I guess. It’s body was nothing but a square, with oddly rounded edges. It was silvery, and employed a sort of odd camouflage. I’ve included a photo. Warning – it’s terrifying.
The People That Feed Me didn’t seem to notice the alien intruder. I, however, being an enlightened being, was terrified. It was here to spy on us, I was sure. What did it want to learn? Was it going to hurt us? I ran and hid in the corner.
It was still there the next day. The People That Feed me even acknowledged its presence. It must be using some sort of mind control on them. Even my Little Human was caught by its spell. He thought it was grand. He begged to touch it. He played with it. It let him, too. I think it was trying to observe the behaviors of Little Humans. Again, I was the only one who saw what was going on. The Woman Who Feeds Me laughed because I was shaking in the corner. My stupid new Eagles name tag rattled too much and gave me away.
So that’s the situation here. I have to be honest, I sleep with one eye open. I don’t trust that alien one bit. I will keep you updated. If I go missing, you know who the culprit is. Call Scully and Mulder.