I totally made up that word. It’s the only thing that fits yesterday. Allow me to explain.
I was married before. I got married 3 months before I turned 19 to the guy I dated through high school. He was 21. We were both stupid. Four days after we got married we moved to the absolute middle of nowhere, which happens to be in northeastern George. We spent 364 days there, hating just about every minute of it. We moved back to the Harrisburg area as fast as we could. The next years . . . well, I’m not going there. It serves no purpose, really.
We were married (legally) for just under 9 years, though we were separated during the last one. We were married on July 26, 1997 and divorced on June 26, 2006.
I don’t know how other people feel who have been divorced, but when that old wedding anniversary – which no longer celebrates anything good – comes around, it’s weird. You remember that date, but don’t celebrate it in any way. Some people might ignore it. Some people might spit at the memory of their ex. To me, it’s become a reminder of the changes I’ve undergone.
When I was with my ex, I wasn’t happy. I worked hard, and never played. I had no hobbies. I had friends, but didn’t get to do much with them. I went to church, but I didn’t participate. In comparison to my ex, I was considered the social one, the loud one. (It was funny, though, because I wasn’t all that social nor all that loud.) Oh – and I had just about no hope of having a family since he didn’t want kids after all.
Now, I am happy. I work hard and get to play in the woods. I run, bake and sing. I have lots of wonderful friends in my life, and get to hang out with lots of them whilst running in the woods. I go to church and am fairly active; I feel as if my faith has deepened as well. In comparison to S, I am the quiet, less social one. We have a tremendous son, and hope to (someday) add to our family.
Going through something like that also changes a person. I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through all of that. Would I be a better person? Maybe. Would I be worse? It’s possible. Would I have what I have now? Unlikely.
I might someday forget the association that July 26th holds, but I hope I never forget to look at my life and thank God for the blessings.